Chicago, IL - The last time I held a tennis racquet the first George Bush was President, the Soviet Union was still around and Alice in Chains’ “Man in a Box” was tops on the Billboard Music Chart. My first experience with tennis was difficult (to put it mildly). I had a hard time catching up with the ball, my footwork was a mess and returning a serve seemed more difficult than tackling Neal Anderson (there’s another 90s reference for our younger readers).

Almost 20 years later, I found myself at the Midtown Tennis Club on Fullerton and Damen ready to give the game another chance. My wife Ana and I were looking for physical activities we could do together and found the “lifetime sport” aspect of tennis appealing. As my wife put it – “do you expect us to play basketball in our 70s?”

I enrolled in Midtown’s Tennis in No Time (TNT) program, which the club bills as “the world’s only patented teaching program for beginners” and promises “to transform novices into players in three weeks.” TNT participants receive six 1½ hour lessons (two per week) to learn the basic rules of tennis and techniques such as forehands, backhands and serves.

Midtown has more indoor courts than I have ever seen under one roof, the latest and greatest in tennis equipment, top instructors from all over the world and claims to have taught over 100,000 beginners how to play tennis. To be honest, I doubted that the club’s 40 years of tennis know-how could possibly transform a hack like me into a player. Luckily, Midtown had seen my kind before.

I was put in a group with seven other people (all female – single men take note) and we began the first lesson. Our instructor Chris started us out by rallying with a large, foam ball that looked more like a softball than anything to do with tennis.

I soon learned that the foam ball – or “transition ball” as industry people call it - moves slower than a normal tennis ball and is easier to square up on a racquet face. My partner and I were able to rally uninterrupted for five minutes – which also qualified as the longest rally of my tennis career. The transition balls are one of many TNT tricks up Midtown’s sleeve.

“You wouldn’t start a beginner off playing baseball by sticking them in a batting cage with Carlos Zambrano,” said Michael Mahoney, general manager and vice president of Midtown. “It’s important to set people up for success. TNT does this by using a progression of tennis balls – first the oversized foam ball, then a low-progression ball before moving to the regulation ball during the last week of the program. By the time the player gets to the regulation ball they have learned proper fundamentals and are better prepared to play.”

I’m happy to report that TNT lived up to the hype. By the end of the third week I was able to play games with a regulation tennis ball without completely embarrassing myself. I have no illusions about competing with Raphael Nadal at Wimbledon 2010 but hope to give my wife a run for her money.

WHAT: Tennis in No Time

WHERE: Midtown Tennis Club – 2020 W. Fullerton Avenue in Chicago

WHEN: Session Two begins June 6, 2009

COST: $115

CONTACT: 773.235.2300 or www.midtown.com/chicago  

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